Parenting

In the Bible there are verses that use the word "rod" in the context of discipline, and the Bible uses the "rod" as a picture to help show us how to discipline our children and to help us understand the importance of our job. So figuratively we are shepherds of our little ones, and we need to carry our shepherd's staff, our rod. It's a sign of authority, and God has given parents authority over their children. And just as it is crucial that a shepherd not lay aside his rod, it is crucial that parents not lay aside the rod of authority and discipline. This does not mean, though, that we are to hit our children -- on the contrary. A good shepherd does not hit his sheep with the rod, but rather reserves hitting for the predators who attack his sheep. In like manner, we as parents should not use the "rod" to hit our children, but rather we are to protect them, guide them, and defend them.

I have always been confused on if I should hit my children as a way to discipline them. I will admit for some time I thought spanking was the way I should discipline but only because that's what most of us are taught to do. In the many times I used spanking to discipline it always felt wrong. I didn't understand nor get how inflicting pain on my child would correct them, and as I began to observe my children I realized it didn't discipline them but instead it made them afraid of me and because they were afraid they would behave better for a time. I also learned that spanking wasn't teaching them anything but to hit when they got angry at what someone did to them, or if someone didn't listen to them. I found my self spanking my kids and saying hitting is wrong and it hurts. So I started questioning myself why it was OK for me to hit them when they did wrong but it wasn't OK for them to hit someone else when they thought that other kid was doing wrong. They were only doing what they were taught. I began to pray for direction and wisdom on how to go about discipline in a Godly way. After some prayer a good friend (I will leave her name out ) of mine began to talk to me in a gentle way on spanking. She referred me to a wonderful site called gentle christian mothers and I began to learn new things. I then read a book called Biblical Parenting and it changed my views on parenting and spanking. I haven't spanked my kids in over a year and instead I have been using the same discipline on them as God uses on me, grace and mercy. The change in discipline wasn't easy and I would slip up at times, but I learned to ask my children for forgiveness when I did spank and told them that hitting them was wrong and I am working on changing that. I realized very fast that in those moments I taught my children something important and that is that we all make mistakes and doing something new takes work and if we fail the right thing to do is admit we are wrong and ask for forgiveness. I've learned that I am not my children's boss, but that I am their teacher, their comforter and their protector. I am not here to rule them but instead guide them and teach them how to be good Christian's with a heart to love, forgive, give mercy and grace to others as our heavenly father gives to us.

Discipling without spanking has taken a lot of work on my part but it's been the best change I've made as a parent.